The Gurkin - Satire News Headlines

Stories by Text Documents

All of the Gurkin's stories are available as Microsoft Word text documents. If you do not have Microsoft word you can download a viewer here. To save the files, right click on the link and click "save target as..." The stories are listed in alphabetical order by story title.

story title	category	date
‘My First Atlas’ becomes best seller	gossip	30/10/03
Anti swearing stops speech	personal	26/09/02
AOL: America Offline	business	25/10/02
Barbie ends it with Ken	gossip	29/12/03
Barney taken hostage	gossip	09/10/02
Basra liberated from McDonalds	consumer	05/04/03
Benefit payment switches system	national	25/06/03
Bill Gates foiled by own limitations	business	12/06/03
Blain blabs about stunt	gossip	28/04/03
Blaine auctions off part of arm	gossip	24/01/04
Blair takes hard stance	national	01/09/02
Blank space is the new "it"	consumer	19/02/03
Brazil dreams chimp free government	national	27/08/03
BT Broadband Bust	business	16/06/02
Bullring used to design car	business	17/03/03
Captured Saddam is Puppet	national	17/12/03
Charlotte Church is gang leader	personal	31/01/03
Charmed girls burnt at stake	gossip	04/12/02
Child allergic to himself	personal	19/12/02
China admit lying about lying	national	03/06/03
Computer development exceeds delivery	consumer	08/03/03
David Smith Reunited	business	18/10/02
eBay scheme promises thousands	personal	16/04/03
Food for thought	consumer	07/09/02
Fox to cut shows	consumer	22/09/02
France to change sexual preference	national	02/09/02
Friendly fire claims fifty	national	28/03/03
Friends Reunited overloads	business	08/09/02
George Bush the toon	gossip	08/09/02
Government release alien asylum laws	National	15/06/02
Hardy's Run smashes ratings	consumer	21/01/03
Harry Potter Arested	gossip	28/08/02
Hospitals need help	national	09/02/03
Huting humans legalised	national	22/09/02
Ican cheesecake found	gossip	01/09/02
Insect friendly Improvements	consumer	16/06/02
Iraq war went too far says Bush	national	12/11/03
Israel develop own roadmap to peace	national	13/06/03
Israel votes no on being bombed	national	01/09/03
Japanese car industry takes blow	business	15/11/03
Jordi water sells worldwide	business	12/03/03
Korea gets picky	national	08/01/03
Lara Croft wins Miss. World	gossip	27/09/02
Marconi to cut too many jobs	business	27/08/02
Microsoft face new lawsuit	business	02/09/02
Microsoft get jumped	business	12/11/02
Microsoft release new failsafe	business	24/02/03
Microsoft to rent out	business	03/10/02
Mint Toffee Aliens	national	27/08/02
Monkey Approved lose merger	business	28/12/02
Murder mocks justice system	gossip	26/01/03
NA becomes official religion	personal	06/12/03
National interest failing	national	23/03/03
New love spray discovered	consumer	04/05/03
New robot can kiss own ass	personal	09/06/03
NY Times admit name was made up	gossip	13/08/03
Old junk found where left	personal	12/04/03
Old sock “could turn dangerous”	personal	03/01/04
Penguin’s most sociable creators	personal	17/11/02
Planet of the Apes deemed real	national	28/08/02
Playstation adds chemical element	consumer	13/02/03
Police plan plead	national	04/11/02
Protestor’s ejected from old tree	personal	07/08/03
Protestors ejected from old tree	personal	19/10/03
Real Kentucky fried chicken	consumer	23/12/02
Red Cross receives wedge	personal	22/12/03
Review: Mr Herbert’s Toupee	consumer	08/05/03
Richard Branson launches balloon	gossip	01/12/02
Russia prove Iraq's guilt	national	31/12/02
Russia to put shoe on Mars	national	31/01/04
Sarah Michelle Gellar interview	gossip	02/09/02
School takes on pupils	personal	05/02/03
Scientists prove everyone is dead	personal	28/08/02
Spice Girls Support Cultural Divercity	gossip	15/06/02
Spontanous Combustion on the rise	personal	15/06/02
Suicide Hill to close	personal	21/10/02
Texas press for new laws	national	12/12/02
The Daily Sponge falls	business	20/09/02
The kids are porn addicts	personal	16/12/02
The Woodchop festival	personal	07/11/02
Tommy Franks admits faking own death	gossip	23/06/03
UN debate toilet paper	national	27/10/03
US attempt New Krypton invasion	national	01/04/03
USA Today make case	consumer	04/01/03
Which? Adds gender magazine	consumer	02/03/03

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